The last few weeks have been so difficult in so many ways. The pain has grown more intense (especially at night)...my heart has been fluttering pretty much all day long. I'm not going to lie; it has been pretty scary. Most nights I end up in tears begging God for mercy. Two nights ago, I had a pretty terrible episode. Chris was across the street with our neighbors...and I called him to come home. I thought for sure I was headed to the ER. Every part of me was tingling...my skin was crawling and the pain was so crazy! Chris asked our neighbors to come pray over me. It was such a sweet time...and after the time of prayer my body began to settle down. Why do I doubt God? I know that He is my Healer. I think I am just so overwhelmed. I am tired of having to tell Eliana goodbye every morning. I am tired of laying in bed. I am tired of my feet & legs hurting so much that I don't want to walk. But, I am really trying to hang on and trust that He is in control. Please keep praying for me. Pray for Chris...he has SO MUCH on his shoulders right now. Pray for provision for all of our medical bills!! Pray that the Lord would give me perspective in this season.
Love,Lindsey
Psalm 142
You Are My Refuge
With my voice I cry out to the Lord;
with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord.
I pour out my complaint before him;
I tell my trouble before him.
When my spirit faints within me,
you know my way!
In the path where I walk
they have hidden a trap for me.
Look to the right and see:
there is none who takes notice of me;
no refuge remains to me;
no one cares for my soul.
I cry to you, O Lord;
I say, “You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living.”
Attend to my cry,
for I am brought very low!
Deliver me from my persecutors,
for they are too strong for me!
Bring me out of prison,
that I may give thanks to your name!
The righteous will surround me,
for you will deal bountifully with me.
praying for you sweet sister
ReplyDeletethank you for pouring out your heart and for sharing your faith with us. I pray for your healing and deeper love for the Father
I'm so broken that you have to walk down this road... but I know God is working...praying He gives you courage and strength for this walk. We love you all!
ReplyDeleteHi Lindsey! I have been following your blog for quite awhile, especially during your journey to Eliana. Our friends adopted a little boy from Ethiopia (which is where I started blog hopping and somehow made it to yours - love the blog world!) and my husband and I have recently started the journey of domestic adoption. Anyhow, I am just catching up with you, as we recently moved and things got crazy...so I am just now reading about your struggle with Lyme. Man, my heart aches for you, but please know that I am praying for you! I also wanted to connect you with my aunt, who is an international speaker and author, but also suffers from the effects of Lyme, contracted from a tick bite when she was pregnant with my cousin. When you described the "skin crawling"...I have heard that exact same description from her! I know it is always encouraging during wilderness seasons to have people walking with you and praying with/for you, but especially those who have been there and truly understand (I have felt this firsthand when we miscarried a couple years ago). My aunt's website is www.susielarson.com (she is also linked in my blogroll if that is easier). I hope she can offer you some insight or encouragement...or even just the knowledge that someone else understands firsthand what you are going through and that it truly isn't "in your head" like so many try to tell you. God bless you, and I look forward to following your journey and praying with you for complete healing!
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